


If You Love Me Let Me Go

by thegreatandpowerfultoaster



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Alcohol, Artistic Liberties, Cailan is a sweety and dont try to tell me he isnt, Canonical Character Death, Crushes, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Love Confessions, Ostagar, Return to Ostagar DLC, Sharing a Bed, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-28 13:48:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10832532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatandpowerfultoaster/pseuds/thegreatandpowerfultoaster
Summary: Warden Karliah Tabris catches they eye of King Cailan Theirin, and she doesn't mind it at all. But things tend to happen.





	If You Love Me Let Me Go

**Author's Note:**

> I've been play in this game, so pardon blatant ignoring of Anora and no sense of canon. I really just wanted fluff and angst and had two hours to spare.

She gave a a slight curtsey in his direction. It seemed silly, but she simply wanted to look at him a bit more. He was something strange to her, being that he, the King seemed to prefer his first name to his title, or at least when among the Wardens.

He was drinking with a few of them, like she had been told he would be. He looked up at her from his seat, his cheeks somewhat flushed and his eyes glossy, but still warm and bright. Somehow. "Oh! Hello, Warden. You're Duncan's recruit, aren't you? Would you perhaps care to join us?"

"I would like that very much, milord. However I am afraid Duncan has expressed his need for my assistance as soon as I was able." The Human King was smiling brightly, and suddenly she wanted to stay almost more than anything. It was...odd, though. He did not seem to see her as an Elf opposed to a Human, rather he saw her as a Grey Warden above all else.

Cailan patted the seat beside him. "I'm certain that Duncan will find somebody else. And if he cannot, well then I am certainly to blame. Besides that, I doubt we shall have the opportunity to get to know each other properly after the battle."

The prospect of being with him made her heart skip a beat. He was quite sweet, and not at all like any of the humans who had come around the Alienage. She had been right on her assumption that not all of them were cruel. "After all, perhaps you can provide more information about Fereldens Alienages."

Oh. Had that been all he wanted? She held in a soft sigh and sat down beside him. "I suppose Duncan can find someone else. At least for a bit."

Besides, she could feel his warmth from this close up.

"Milord, is it wise to be drinking so much before a battle?" The words were hesitant in speaking her concerns, but his intoxicating (and intoxicated) eyes did not darken.

"No, probably not. I'm a bit-ah, drunk, already. But no matter! You are Karliah Tabris, am I correct?"

She smiled. "Yes, by simply Karliah is fine, milord."

"Karliah, then," he said, as if testing put the word. It was elvish, and therefore an unfamiliarity. "You may discard the formalities, Cailan is just fine. After all, I do hope we shall be slaying Darkspawn side by side at the end of the night."

His large hand patted her shoulder in reassurance, which really made her shiver and be all the more nervous. "Besides, I'd be rather disappointed in myself if I did not allow such a beautiful woman to speak my first name."

Her ears heated up, and she chose to ignore the comment, and take it as the side effect of the ale rather than genuine affection. He seemed to study her (now quite red) tall and pointed ears. Not in a bad way, not as if he was now wondering how well she'd do in the castle kitchens or hauling equipment on her back, but in an almost admiring way.

They kept talking for far longer than she'd meant to stay, speaking about everything from his upbringing to her family, things neither would normally share with a practical stranger. But he didn't feel like a stranger, he felt like someone she'd been beside her entire life.

And, despite his numerous offers, she never accepted a drink, almost fearing that had she had even one, she wouldn't quite be able to keep her hands off the far larger man.

He was sweet, like she had though before as well as simply pleasant to be around, never pressing further than he should. Soon, though not at all long after the few other Wardens left for some reason or another, he brought a hand up to her cheek, and kissed her.

Truly kissed  _her_. She could think of doing nothing but kissing back, furiously as he gently sucked on her bottom lip. Her nerves were soothing.

He was the one to break away, far too soon for her liking. He sat stiffly all of the sudden and spoke in a low tone. "I...Apologize, Warden Tabris. Tipsy or not, that was far out of line."

Karliah only wanted him to do so again. "Not at all, please, I quite liked it."

The King chuckled and his posture loosened some. "It's something I've wanted to do since I met you, I'm afraid. Then, I began to get to know you and-" Cailan laughed again. "Perhaps I have had too much to drink after all. Help me stand?"

She wished she could write a letter now, back to her family. To tell them that currently, being a Grey Warden had not only included drinking Darkspawn blood, but also kissing the Human King and escorting him to his tent, being that he'd almost fallen over when he'd stood up.

Thank the Maker that nobody was about.

 She'd intended to leave him at the tent flap, but instead helped him take off his heavy golden plate armor, as regal looking as the man himself, (which turned to be a far bigger job than it had looked) and helped him into bed.

"I  _am_ truly sorry that I kissed you," he said when she had reached the door once again. 

"No," she shook her head, trying to think of words  _to tell him._ "Andraste! Do it again sometime, please." 

That was not supposed to be aloud. He seemed to get the idea from her horrified expression. "Lay by me, perhaps? I am told that the Wardens can sense the Darkspawn...I'd feel quite safe if you would."

Cailan was smiling jokingly, and it took only a few seconds for her to be entranced by it, kick off her boots and join him under the warm covers. His arms wrapped gently around her, his hands resting on her stomach.

"I don't know," the King said quietly, looking at her. "This seems truly...absurd, or perhaps it is just me, Warden Karliah Tabris, but I would like you by my side-always. I think-though I do not claim to have experienced such a ting before-I think I love you."

 She tried to convince herself that this was all just a dream, that it could  _not_ be real, that the Human King was simply toying with the Elven girls heart to see how far she could be pushed before she broke. That what she was feeling right now- _perfect, that is_ -was all unreal.

No, this was most certainly real. "Would it sound just as crazy if I said that I love  _you_ , King Cailan Theirin?"

"Not at all," he says, smiling again. "Good then, it is not just I." His lips press to the top of her head, and soon they both fall asleep, if only for a moment, for they are both busy people. Still, she cannot help but be happy that he is by her side.

When Karliah next opened her eyes, it was accredited to the furious banging on the tent, and Loghains voice yelling for Cailan. She awoke him, and he only smiled sleepliy at her and used a hand to brush the tips of her ears until the man pounded on the flap and threatened to come in. 

 He sat up quickly, and silently motioned the Warden to the back of the tent, and starts hoisting on his heavy armor again, turning around to mouth something at her.

' _Love you.'_

She ducks out of the tent and rushes to find Duncan.

* * *

 

It is her who sees him first, and she falls to her knees. She has not forgotten him, after all. They've stripped him of all his armor and nailed him to a pike, but its still him.

Its still Cailan.

She weeps, and her companions fail to understand. Why should they, she has never told anyone.

She can hardly stand to look at his cold, dead eyes which once shined with warmth, goodness and humor. Its hard to look at Alistair when he wraps his arms around her. He's got the same eyes, the same smile and while she knows why it still hurts. 

But he isn't her King. He is Alistair Cailan is up there, dead. It serves to solidify the reality of it all, he really is there. She'd never had her heart leap like it did when he kissed Herr. She hasn't felt it since.

 _'Perhaps...'_ Perhaps it is not worth the hope it will bring. ' _Perhaps the Maker will let us be in each others company once again?'_


End file.
